Random thoughts, mind wanderings, and other miscellaneous stuff...

How all business phones should be answered: 

GOOD MORNING !!
WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
Press "1" for English, or
press "2" to disconnect until you have learned to speak English.

A Biker Prayer

Dear Lord,

As I begin this run today,
Please watch over me along the way,
Help me to do my very best,
To complete this run with all the rest,
Yet in this race of life I know,
I've made mistakes and stumbled so,
But because of Christ's great love for me,
His death on the cross has set me free,
So as I continue along the way,
Help me to live the Christ-like way,
Though, I'm not perfect by any means,
With Jesus Christ I'm on the winning team.

AMEN

"IF YOU AIN'T LIVING ON THE EDGE..... YOUR TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE"

Rules from God 

1. Wake Up !! 
Decide to have a good day. 
"Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." 
Psalms 118:24 

2. Dress Up !! 
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. 
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. 
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." 
I Samuel 16:7 

3. Shut Up!! 
Say nice things and learn to listen. 
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. 
"He who guards his lips guards his soul." 
Proverbs 13:3 

4. Stand Up!!... 
For what you believe in. 
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, 
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." 
Galatians 6:9-10 

5. Look Up !!... 
To the Lord. 
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." 
Philippians 4:13 

6. Reach Up !!... 
For something higher. 
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, 
and He will direct your path." 
Proverbs 3:5-6 

7. Lift Up !!... 
Your Prayers. 
"Do not worry about anything; 
instead PRAY ABOUT 
EVERYTHING." 
Philippians 4:6

Jamaican Motorcycle Accident Rate Study
Please, No heart attacks...

The Jamaican government did a study with tax dollars to see why there are so many deadly motorcycle accidents in ! Jamaica

I think you'd be surprised at the results. Scroll down to the bottom.

 



 



 



 



 

THIS IS A LITTLE SCARY, ISN'T IT??

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion in the United States, especially in the minority races!!! Allah or Jesus? 
by Rick Mathes
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their belief systems. I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers. When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world. And that by killing an infidel, which is a command to all Muslims, they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?" There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, "Non-believers!" I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can go to Heaven. Is that correct?" The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He sheepishly replied, "Yes." I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering Protestants to do the same in order to go to Heaven!" The Imam was speechless. I continued, "I also have problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me. Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah who tells you to kill me in order to go to Heaven or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to Heaven and He wants you to be with me?" You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame. Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslim's beliefs. I think everyone in the US should be required to read this, but with the liberal justice system, liberal media, and the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized. Please pass this on to all your e-mail contacts. This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well known leader in prison ministry.

B U S Y 

SATAN'S MEETING: (Read even if you're busy) 

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, 
"We can't keep Christians from going to church." 
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth." 
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Savior." 
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken." 
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, 
"BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ." 
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil: 
"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!" 
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted. 
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. 
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow." 
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles." 
"Keep them from spending time with their children." 
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!" 
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice." 
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive." 
"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world 
plays non-biblical music constantly " 
"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ." 
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers." 
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day." 
"Invade their driving moments with billboards." 
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free 
products, services and false hopes.." 
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and 
they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. " 
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night." Give them headaches too! 
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere." 
"That will fragment their families quickly!" 
"Give them Santa Clause to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas." 
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death." 
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive." 
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted" 
"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, 
concerts, and movies instead. "Keep them busy, busy, busy!" 
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences." 
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus." 
"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause." 
"It will work!" "It will work!" 
It was quite a plan! 
The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there. 
Having little time for their God or their families. 
Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives. 
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes? 
You be the judge!!!!! 
Does "BUSY" mean: 
B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke? 

FRIENDS!!!

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't skip ahead.

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned...
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day What makes me think I can?

I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned...
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned..
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I've learned....
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned .
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

To all of you... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.


In light of the many perversions and jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. 

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding the attacks on Sept. 11). 

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. 

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" 

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. 

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. 

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. 

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. 

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." 

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. 

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. 

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. 

Are you laughing? 

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. 

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in!! 

This is from a lady in California who is proud of her son and the people he serves with.

One of my sons serves in the military. He is still stateside, here in California. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him, and his troops. Everywhere he goes, he tells me how people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve and fight, for not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also. But he also told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha. He said when she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the U.S. flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin, and said proudly, "Yes, I always wear it and probably always will." The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi. A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman:

"Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, 
in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this outspoken 
in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and 
clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that 
you are obviously here in MY country to avoid" 
Everyone within hearing distance cheered!

THE LAW IS THE LAW

So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.

And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, on which they deem their authority, then so be it.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, "so be it," because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American Publics' best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'D LIKE?

Since we can't pray to God, can't Trust in God and cannot Post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don't believe the Government 
and it's employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating
from many facets of American life.

I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays. After all, it's just another day.

I'd like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break."
After all ~ it's just another day.

I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter.

It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct".

In fact.... 
I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshipping God...) because, after all, our government says that it should 
be just another day....

What do you all think???? 
If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the minority opinions and begin, once again, to represent the 
majority of ALL of the American people.
SO BE IT...........

Please Dear Lord, 
Give us the help needed to keep you in our country!

Amen and Amen

Your Might Be A Biker If... 

You only get two weeks vacation and you take them for Sturgis & Daytona 

Someone suggests having dinner at the beach and you say “okay” and live in Omaha 

Your bike has more than $5,000 in chrome and accessories 

You spent your last paycheck on a heated vest and gloves instead of food and rent 

Your credit card statement shows $150 for gas - $5 at a time 

You get “delirium tremors” after not riding for a couple of weeks 

Your closet smells like leather and you are not into "S&M" 

Your bike is the most expensive vehicle in your garage 

You think 8,000 miles for a set of tires is good 

Your spouse uses WD-40 & duct tape to get you “in the mood” 

You are a member of the Iron Butt Association 

Someone yells “gravel in the curve” and you panic 

Where you are going is not as important as how you get there 

You know what “white-lining” is and it does not involve drugs 

You know from experience what monkey butt is 

You lean into the corners while you are stuck going somewhere in your cage 

Having bug guts splat all over your hand or cheek at 70mph doesn't send into gross convulsions anymore 

The gym cancelled your membership for trying to add chrome to all the exercycles. 

Your coworkers stop asking what you did over the weekend, they just ask how far you went for lunch. 

You haven't seen the keys to your car in 2 weeks, but you have taken the long way to work everyday. 

You've ever tried to hit the turn signal in you car with your left thumb. 

You do a Poker Run in your SUV, coz your bike is in the shop, and ride with all windows down and AC off on a scorching hot day! 

You buy an EZ Pass toll payer for your bike, and not your car, and smile every time you don't put your feet down in the oil..... 

You stop your car and try and lower a kickstand. 

All of the toes on your left boots are scuffed beyond repair. 

Someone offers to buy your bike on the spot on the freeway in a sleet storm and you turn them down. 

...you appreciate that the oil being sprayed upon your leathers helps keep them shiny... 

the centerpiece on your dining room table is the twin you're rebuilding 

Consider your motorcycle's odometer as a badge of honor. 

You shower once a month. As a motorcyclist, I shower daily. 

You have oil stains on your living room carpet and it doesn't bother you. 

Nose = sunburned Fingers much paler than the back of your hands or forearms. 

you know exactly how many groceries will fit in your saddlebags 

If you have one credit card just for motorcycle stuff 

If you park the car outside while the BIKE is in the heated garage 

You have a "chrome address" so as not to upset the spouse 

Your polishing & cleaning rags are in better shape than the clothes you wear 

you understand that the wider the road the worse the food 

If you spend all your free time not riding or wrenching on these silly biker forums. 

If in the middle of February after 4 months of snow the lyric "Don't wanna eat a pickle, just wanna ride my motorcycle" won't stop running thru your head. 

when even in your cage you lighten your grip and squint as you cross a gravel patch on the highway. 

there is snow everywhere and 20 deg F, you ride! 

you have a little extra cash and ask your spouse if she wants some new curtains and she responds, "More Chrome, More Chrome!" 

you have life threatening emphysema and build a mount for your oxygen tank on the back of your BMW. (We know the Guy) 

the direct route to a BBQ is 300 miles so you take the 900 mile route. 

You've already ridden to Prudhoe Bay this summer, and are backing the folks who want to put in a road to Nome. 

all your camping equipment is sized to fit the scooter, fits better in the cage that way. 

at Christmas, "Santa" (the wife) brings you the Kuryakin air filter and Samson pipes you've been dreaming of............and it's 30 below, with 5 feet of snow on the ground. 

you wave at other bikers from your CAGE! 

you know all about ME880, FLHT, and K1200LT, but are clueless about 401K, the GNP or NYSE 

.. your grown-up daughter asks "Do you want a proper Mother's Day present or something for the bike?" 

You just bought a Battery Tender -- for your car.

It's Monday, so it's time to change the oil again. 

You go looking for a "low-mileage car" but are proud of how many miles you put on your ride in a weekend! 

you see rain clouds in the direction you're traveling and you put your wet gear so you can keep going. 

you scrape off the "my kid is an honor student" bumper sticker and replace it with "my other car is a bike" bumper sticker" 

when driving the cage you lift your butt off the seat when approaching bumps, railroad tracks... 

Your answer to the question, "Did you ride your bike to work today?" is "Why did you see more than a foot of snow out there? Of course I did!" 

your gloves don't have any fingers 

when your spouse says "It's the bike or me!", you have to think about it real hard 

any of your children or pets have "Harley" or "Davidson" in their name 

you can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them 

You name your kids Kowie, Zuki, Honda, or Harley 

You carry a half roll of toilet paper in you saddle bags. If you ride long and far enough you will need it. If you do not, your riding for the show. 

As you back out of the garage, you remind yourself you need to pull those cobwebs off of your car tires when you get back. 

you can't find a white t-shirt (stained of course) in your closet. 

You can identify what kind of bugs they are by the taste 

if your willing to bundle up like an Eskimo in five layers of clothing to go out on a 30-degree morning for a 50-mile ride just to "keep the battery charged." 

your wife asks you to get the tranny parts out of her dishwasher 

You lock up your scoot with a chain that belongs on a battleship anchor 

You've been riding so long you can claim your hemorrhoids as dependants. 

You cut the cast on your wrist off with a SAWZ-ALL, so you can go riding.

When you are talking to a new customer and a bike goes by, you stop and look and say man I wish it was me. 

if your non biker friends call you "easy rider" etc and you get pissed 

You travel 660 miles in 10 hours in one day, get home, drop the saddlebags, climb back on and go out for supper. 

You modify your bike to pull a trailer to take your dog to enjoy the wind with you 

You have ridden more than 1000 miles in a day just for the fun of it. 

You hear a Bike coming and know it's a Ducati by the sound of the engine 

You chuckle at the novice who tries to get on the "high side" of the bike in the showroom 

You've left more than 20 bucks worth of chrome from your foot pegs on the Blue Ridge Parkway 

You wear out the sides of your tires before the centers 

it takes all day to get to the corner store 

you'd rather ride your hog than ride the old lady 

Playing Poker doesn't include a table, takes four hours, a tank of gas and a bad hand doesn't matter 

you notice that there are more polishing clothes than underwear in your laundry 

your bike is dirty, you are dirty and broke, and you sold your car to buy gas for the bike. 

You drive 200+ miles to a poker run, in another state, just for the food 

if you quit your job cuz it's too close to home. 

when chrome replaces an anniversary gift 

You go out for a loaf of bread and get back on Tuesday. 

You decide to get a Philly Cheesesteak, in Philly, when you live in Massachusetts, just for the ride 

You think "helmet hair" is stylish 

all of your friends are named after animals 

Your "other" vehicle is a pickup truck with a winch & loading ramps 

You think the best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome 

You pull into a restaurant after a long ride, and you ask for a toothpick, so you can clean your teeth BEFORE you eat! 

You're considering converting your living room into additional garage space. 

You don't know your kids' birthdays, but you know which one is behind you on the bike from the way it handles. 

you wonder where the stickers will go WHEN the helmet law is repealed! 

You miss the smells when you have to ride in a cage (garbage trucks, hot asphalt, skunks....) 

you have enough parts in the garage to build another bike if you could find a straight frame and one wheel 

you unconsciously jesture to other riders even though you are in the wife's VW Jetta 

You can remember your bike's next oil change but not your anniversary! 

you've worn a pair of gloves for more than 12 hrs. straight. 

you convince your kids to skip Disney World to go to Daytona 

You might be a biker if you kick start your wife. 

you've got so many junk bikes in your yard that you have to park down the street on the other side of the road 

The cop asks" Do you know how fast you where going" And you just smile and say yes 

You might be a biker if you buy your wife a motorcycle for Mother's day just so you can ride it. 

upon having an addition to the family you buy a sidecar to put the car seat in. 

all the people trying to be like you now thought you were scooter trash 10-15 years ago. 

the RUB that just waved at you from his bike used to turn his nose up at you while driving his BMW 10 years ago. 

You crack your knuckles on the window of your cage, you had to take for groceries, trying to wave to another rider coming towards you. 

You consider the double yellow line in the middle of the road the motorcycle lane. 

You hate to reset the GPS because that "123.4" in the Max Speed window is just too cool. 

You would rather push a bike, than drive a car!!! 

New Element Found 
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. 
In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest 
element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government." 

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, 
and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast 
quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. 
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second! 

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization 
in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. 
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will 
cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. 

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed 
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is 
referred to as Critical Morass. 

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates just 
as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.